Here's a handy little app to cure all your ills (Yeah right)

Hallelujah. A revolutionary breakthrough. For the paltry sum of £11.99 you can purchase a new
iPhone app to ‘cure’ you of seasickness. For eva. 

According to the blurb, Nevasic
‘is a medical audio programme which stabilises the balance receptors in the
inner ear in order to provide relief from nausea and sickness’.

Look, I’m not even going to test this. I’ll bet you my
lunch and every meal to infinity and beyond that it won’t work. I’d just get my phone soaked and the sockets clogged with lumps.

But if you really insist on believing in an audio cure, well why not make a small saving, send
me £10 instead and I’ll email you an MP3 with some Brian Eno loops and a
recording telling you that seasickness is all in your mind.

Alternatively, if you are unfortunate enough to suffer badly from
seasickness, I offer you my sincere commiserations, but it’s just too bad. Because there’s no such thing as a cure.

I speak from
a lifetime’s experience here. I’ve lost hundreds of lunches over the years. Like most people, I do usually get over it after 3-4
days at sea (mind you, I was once unwell for 12 consecutive days while undertaking the ‘Red Sea diet’), and the best I can say is don’t let it put you
off, or you’d never go offshore.

If, however, you are looking for ways to improve the symptoms, cope with the worst effects or for tips on how to
self-manage while you wait for your sea legs to grow, look no further. Some years ago we collaborated
with the Global Challenge round the world race to conduct what is the largest
ever survey into seasickness and seasickness remedies.

Read more here about seasickness treatments and what factors
are involved.

One thing that really makes a big difference when afflicted is an understanding and sympathetic skipper
and crewmates. In all my years afloat, I’ve only once sailed with someone who scoffed
at my affliction (they’d probably have choked with mirth at the Norovirus), but I’d be quite tempted by a ‘Getsic’ app enabling
the sensation to be experienced at the touch of a button.