We've received a sizeable package of 'female portable urinary devices'. Anything to know before our test run?

For some reason the makers of the SheWee ‘portable urinary device’ for women have sent us a package of their products.

Not just us, either. Asking around I found that they’ve been sent to nearly every well-known motorboat and sailing journo, male or female. So large is the consignment that we are struggling to find the right expression: a large dump? A deluge? A substantial package?

It’s odd because the SheWee is not a new product. They’ve been around for ages, and are well used in sailing circles – among women, obviously – for very good reason. Many race boats don’t have heads or anything like on board and the opportunities for embarrassment and humiliation are too numerous to list.

Many’s the time I’ve done a bucket and chuck it, as we all have, but on a wildly bucking, stripped out racer with no privacy it can be one of sailing’s most fraught experiences.

Only other women can quite understand the nervousness you feel when invited to crew on a dayboat at a big regatta, let’s say at Cowes Week, when there is likely to be a weather delay. You could easily be out there for six hours, and I have been. It’s a worry. The only answer is to dehydrate.

I wouldn’t say I’m looking forward to trying out the special ‘NATO Green Extreme SheWee’ but I concede that it could come in very handy.

I have already been asking around for hints and tips regarding its usage. One offshore sailor advised that I should try ‘in a controlled environment first’.

‘Definitely a knack to using them, believe me,’ she tweeted. ‘The consequences can be disappointing. It is all about the seal, if you know what I mean.’

Yes, I think I do. The accompanying operating instructions helpfully suggest practising in the shower.

In the meantime, the scope for a steady stream of innuendo is boundless.