Some names you shouldn't call your boat


What a totally rude subject. Thank you to everyone who emailed me with suggestions of boat names and other dodgy double entendres.

Among the real-life examples sent to me wereCunning Stunts, Dangerous Curves, Wet Dream, G-String, Wet ‘n Wild(inevitably), ‘R. Curd’s fine one-design sailing yacht with a cockpit in two colours -Pink Inside,’ as well as the popularPassing Wind- surpassed in my view byHoof Hearted.

On names derived from songs, 49er sailors Stevie Morrison and Ben Rhodes have lots more to consider as an alternative to Jackie Big Tits . The playlist so far:

‘Big Ones’ -Aerosmith
‘Fat Bottomed Girls’ -Queen
‘You’re a Big Girl’ -Blood on the Tracks
‘Whole Lotta Rosie’ -AC/DC
‘Loving Cup’ -The Rolling Stones
‘The Bristol Slaver’ -Show of Hands
‘Busted’ -The Isley Brothers


‘Unnecessary Trouble’ -Hard-Fi
‘Rules and Regulations’ -Rufus Wainwright
‘End over End’ -Foo Fighters
‘Rescue Me’ -Madonna
‘Always on the Run’ -Lenny Kravitz
‘Beat Surrender’ -The Jam

And ones we’ll leave to the America’s Cup :

‘Under the Influence’ -James Morrison
‘Ecstasy’ -Lou Reed
‘And it Stoned Me’ -Van Morrison
‘Smoke on the Water’ -Deep Purple
And, of course, anything byThe White Stripes.

Keep the suggestions rolling in?