Imitation, they say is the sincerest form of flattery.

Imagine my disappointment a couple weeks ago, when I was about to anoint my bacon sandwich with that democratic king sauces known as HP. I discovered to my horror that we only had an insipid facsimile of the real thing - generic supermarket BROWN.

I spent the rest of the morning with "a face like a smacked arse" as Smithy succinctly put it.

For the last few days we have been running under the lightweight spinnaker in fairly heavy conditions with 100% reliability.

For the last 15 hours we have been using the medium spinnaker and making very good boat speed thank you very much.

After last nights fine repast served up by messrs Copsey and Monkhouse, I strolled on deck pausing only to listen to strolling peasant minstrels (where did they come from?) before retiring to my state room for a snooze.

Bang, flap,flap, shout shout Awake again, hopping about and hauling the
medium spinnaker down the companionway.

The clew ring had come away after only 15 hours use! Agh well more sewing for
skipper Dr. Evil and his simple apprentice.

If I were to liken these sails to sauces, the lightweight would be Britain's number one condiment, and the medium would be that travesty know as BROWN.

Stop Press - Juno out of tea. The crew now have the collective "smacked arse
face".

Pan Pan Tea. Pan Pan Tea. Pan Pan Tea.

Yachting World, 6 December 2005